Non-Assigned Predestined Seating

What was it about the first meeting in that room that made me pick that seat? I knew I wanted to be in good earshot of my boss leading the meeting. But then, not so close I seemed like some kind of authority figure, or even that I’m someone to pay any attention to (I’m shy that way). I also knew I had to face the window for emergency zoneouts and weather checks.

Now, after years of meeting with the same people, it would cause confusion, questions, and possibly gossip if I were to change that seat. Sure, sometimes I pick the chair to the left—but that’s my only indulgence in predestined meetin’ seatin’.

I sometimes wonder (see ‘zoneouts’, above), what if I decided one morning to take the cop’s seat, over on the corner with his back to the windows [where no one can see the porn on his  crackberry]? I can be fairly certain he’d tell, not ask, me to move.

He did that once to another agency flunky, despite the fact that that particular flunky has “director” is in his title. The flunky relocated without even a shrug. (And we wonder why the NYPD has such inflated egos. Guns, not the officers, command a lot of compliance.) But what would the cop have done in the face of resistance—throw a tantrum? Tattle? Put a bullet in him?

Now that I think about it, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen anybody but the cop make someone move from his non-assigned-but-still-predestined seat. Everyone else is just totally predictable and never strays from their lily pads.

The reasons for our return to the same seats is part of the collective subconscious. It returns us to a familiar perspective. There we can avoid the distractions of new views and pay better attention to what’s going on. It also instills complacency, a sense of community in which each of us knows our place. It also reflects our inherent agreeability, routine, and muscle memory.

In the room where the meeting is held, the seating also is hierarchical, with “regulars” around the table and “others” back in the additional-chair rows. The Others include both non-regulars and the men who wish to talk as little as possible. They mumble their answers and never offer information that’s not specifically asked for. Con Ed reps are always in the back rows.